Goodbye 2017, Hello 2018

Hello good people!


Today is the last day of winter holiday. I really just want to spend it lazily. Well, we (me and Mas Yu) will have afternoon tea double date together with my bestfriend and her husband 🙂 But; in the morning I am free, I almost finished my abstract for March conference so I decide to wake up late and spend the morning writing about 2017. A dramatic year full of drama, I guess. What happened in 2017? Let me just give me a quick review!


2017 started with mega drama number one. Since everything is over now and I have made peace with the main actor, I really cannot mention the content of the drama here (however, I have a little review about that here).

That time everything was quite blurred I guess. I would not make it without my best friend and in total four times visit from my parent and my sister. During spring and summer, I had a little stolen holiday to Kyoto and Osaka, as well as Izu and Nagoya with good friends.


In terms of academic, actually nothing changed much. I am right now Doctoral Second year student, first semester. This year I managed to attend 3 conferences (2 national (Chemical Society of Japan and Biocatalysis Symposium) and 1 international, Biotrans at Hungary). I also try to speak about science in Science なう event! I also found myself a new interesting topic about synthesizing drug derivatives.

In lab? It is getting more complicated but still very fun, as one of the oldest right now I have 12 kouhai in total with 2 directly under my supervision. Challenging but still happy! I wish we all can do research with love and dedication, and I can somehow be a good role model 🙂

My focus next year will be more of computational study (crystal structure refinement) and docking study; plus writing my publication! I will have to start thinking as well about my future career, meaning searching for a faculty position or post-doctoral position in Japanese university.


This year I tried also to post more on my youtube channel and do vlogging (which I found to be quite fun!). I know what I am doing in youtube is not that “trending” or so called eye-catching, I am just doing it for fun (but with my heart into it). Ah, I also learn to wear hijab more often, trying to incorporate it with my own style 🙂


All of these things happened together with mega drama number two and mega drama number three. Really cannot mention the content of the mega drama number two however I have a little snippet here and there. I guess I am quite content with the problem solving of mega drama number two right now.


And mega drama number three? Finally I am completely releasing myself from my toxic love relationship for 4 years! Here is the snippet, yes, Mas Yu found me 😀 together with wonderful friends from Kanagawa International Student Music Festival!!


although we are so far away from settling down. We need gazillion works to be done to face our huge barriers. But to be honest, I am completely at peace. We learn something new everyday, kudos for him for his patience and willingness to learn.


In the end, I wrap up this year with a peaceful state of mind.

What are the keys?


  1. Self acceptance

I am accepting myself right now, I am not the smartest and I am slow at doing things. But whatever, I keep moving forward slowly everyday. I mean, my dear family, bf, and best friends, they are all able to accept me with my strength and especially, weakness. Why should I be reluctant to accept myself?

  1. Not trying to please everyone

I learned the hard way this year no matter how hard you try to make someone like you; they will not do that if they do not feel that way! So don’t try to please people, be yourself. They will love you if they love you.

  1. Listen and care only to those who really love you

Not all things should be heard and be put into the deepest core of our heart. Follow your heart, listen only to those who matters the most.

Critic will always come to your life. If they come and bother you, just ask yourself two questions. 1) Have I put my heart while doing it? Have I done my best? 2) Do I have good intention on doing this? If the answers are yes, just proceed. It’s the right thing for you.

(Yu, 2017)

Actually actually, those beautiful words in point number 1 to 3 is not mine. I should put some reference…. thank you Yu Teguh golden ways, lol.



So that is all for my 2017.

I do not have big and detailed resolution for 2018. I am only taking baby steps cherishing everyday and be grateful to Allah for all of His blessings.

Well, I have to publish a paper and search for job this year, hopefully postdoc or academic position in Japan. These are the only focus.


Goodbye, 2017.


Bismillahirrahmanirrahim welcome 2018 ❤



With loads of love,


Afifa Ayu Koesoema


May Allah leads us all the way

Hello everyone!


How was life? Here in Japan, it’s getting colder and colder because it’s already in the end of November. However, lately things are getting better and better, in my opinion. Nothing change much in the terms of academic, instead I found myself a new (quite cool) topic of synthesizing cool drugs. But in the case of my heart? Dramatic change happened.


So i guess i found myself in a wrong relationship for 4 years, idk. For long. And to be honest i was kinda losing myself and my grip, and even my trust to everyone during those times. Imagine?

But finally I have the courage to let go of what’s not good for me.

Start fresh and suddenly unexpectedly God has turned my faith and gave me a leap of destiny *okay exaggerating mode of talking : on*


Honestly i never felt this better in life. Finally i have got the contentment of life, like, finally be able to love myself and think that I am good enough. Finally feeling that I am being loved by so many people, my family, my best friends, my lab mates, and everyone. World is of course not perfect, but it is so wonderful right now.

And more wonderfully, I think I have developed a better connection and relation with God, Allah SWT.

I was put in a situation where I have to combine my favorite activity (teaching) with Islam. And yes, as always, to be able to teach someone, the thing that you should do is to learn more about the things. Just like teaching enzymology or how to do experiment 🙂 So I am trying hard to fix my Salah (more punctual and so on, especially now someone is somehow reminding me to do it, although he’s not yet doing it), improve my understanding about the basic principle of Islam as well as reading Al Quran more studiously.

Trying to put it together, explaining how Islamic principle is wonderful and very applicable in the modern life. And of course how it can be explained in the scientific way #becausewearePhDcandidates #nerdleague


So I would like to put my utmost gratitude from God to send me a catalyst that can make me see myself as a better person, pursue my career to be better, fixing my relation with everyone, and at the same time make me try to know God better 🙂

To put it simple, make me happy, thank you Nerd and Mr. Nerd (the violin).



Are we out of the woods yet?

Of course not, this is a big and serious challenge. We have no intention to hide or avoid it, the difference that we have. Kudos for him to put himself in this situation and his willingness to try, fight, and learn. Baby steps everyday, it will be okay.


May Allah leads us all the way.



With loads of love,



Afifa Ayu Koesoema